Monday, April 28, 2008

Tagged

So I have been tagged by Brother in Blue. So let’s bring up something you probably didn’t want to know about me.

1) Link to your tagger and post these rules on your blog.
2) Share 7 facts about yourself on your blog, some random, some weird.
3) Tag 7 people at the end of your post by leaving their names as well as links to their blogs
4) Let them know they are tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.


1.) Probably the weirdest thing about me is that I cannot hear words to songs. I have to really concentrate to hear words because I have always liked to listen to the beats and rhythms to songs. You can sing the simplest song and I will not know that it is. I love every type of music except country simply because country has no beat. That and it is depressing.

2.) I love midgets. Nothing perverted or anything but I just find them funny. I even took a picture of one in Paris walking up some steps from a subway terminal.

3.) I can out eat everyone I have ever met. I also never gain a pound. When I go to all you can eat restaurants I have to watch the other people at my table because when they are done I have to stop. Everyone jokes that I have a tape worm because I’m in really good shape and never gain a pound.

4.) I can smell dope a mile away no matter what kind it is. If it burns I can smell it.

5.) I don’t respect many people. I’m not mean to them or anything I just find most people are ignorant, untrustworthy, or have other motives (money, promotions, ect ect). I very rarely find someone that truly likes people without an objective. I bet this sound jacked up but think about if you lost all of your money, your job, everything you have and caught HIV. Who do you honestly know that would have your back? Bet you list of friends just crumbled to one or two. And I am strictly talking about friends not family. If you are in LE remember back when all your friends ditched because you became a cop. Now remember all your friends that you got because of LE. This isn’t right but just be mindful of it. My true friends are only a select few but I will die and lie for each one of them.

6.) I love to travel. I’ve been to 4 continents and over 15 countries. If I had my choice I would drop everything and move to Germany this very second. I’ve been 9 times and have looked for employment 4 times while over there. They really take care of there own.

7.) I love talking about anything that makes the mind wander. Politics, religion, aliens, supernatural and anything else to see how people really think. This sometimes starts arguments but that when I look at my example #5. People can agree to disagree but do not need to get all upset. Life is too short to get angry about the what ifs and the what nots. Don’t worry about what people say or do or think. I say keep pushing and be happy and positive thinking is the key.

People I'm tagging (in no order)
Officer Smith
Officer Gary
Mr. Policeman
The Enforcer
Bits and Pieces
The Bronze Blog
Sorry but everyone has already got hit up.

Dirty Marketing


Busy Weekend Part 3 The Rottweiler:

Here is a link to part one of my busy weekend.

Part 3 The Rottweiler:

One officer gets a call to a silent alarm to a residence and I respond as a back up unit. When I arrive we start to walk up onto the house. We notice a car pulling out of the drive way and we stop it. The LP doesn’t come back to that address and the DL from the guy driving did not match that address. The guy states the he is the home owner and just had not changed his plates or DL.

I walk up to the house and I immediately notice that it is one that I had trouble with when I was on day shift. This house had a 4 foot metal fence that surrounds the whole property and a 200 lb black and brown rottwieler inside the fence. During day shift I would drive by this house and the home owner would drive out of the drive way and forget to shut the gate. Every time he forgot to shut this gate and I drove by, his rottweiler would charge at my patrol unit. If I had my window down he would try and jump into my patrol unit. Let’s just say this dog was down right mean.

Well, When I walk up I see that the gate is open. I’m looking for this dog. I don’t see anything. I see some neighbors and ask them if they had seen the dog. They say that they think that it’s inside the home. So I proceed up to the house. I’m looking around and don’t see anything out of the ordinary. I see this big nice pool in the back yard. I walk toward this pool and I see something underneath the deck move. It was the dog lying down and it had just looked over its shoulder at me. I take out my OC spray and start back peddling. The dog doesn’t move until I turn around (still looking back) to walk away. As soon as the dog sees my heels, he gets up and starts running at me. I turn around and the dog stops dead in its tracks. I start saying things like nice puppy, sit puppy, and please don’t bite me puppy. I start walking backwards again. The dog is walking toward me with every step I take. He is growing. He then starts to run toward me and I yell in the meanest loudest voice I have “GET BACK”. He stops but it’s kind of like he is testing me.

I back half way out of the drive way when the mom comes out of the house and yells “bones get back into the house”. She attempts to grab the dog. I put up my OC spray thinking she has everything under control. I’m still backing out of the drive way. I see that the dog is not paying too much attention to her when he runs around her and start running full speed toward me. I grab my OC in my left hand and my right hand is on my gun and I’m yelling at the dog to get back. Bones is not listening to anyone. I see Bones opening its mouth about to bite me. As soon as it opens its mouth I spray OC in its mouth. Bones stopped right at my feet just licking trying to get that spray out of its mouth. I didn’t notice but my gun is out of its holster in my right hand. Got to love that training and instinct that is instilled into us. Bones backs up a little. The mom starts beating the dog back away from me. I quickly shut the gate. Bone was just staring at me, licking.

Of course I have to do a use of force report. Everyone at the station gets wind of this and starts ragging on me. I let them know which house it was and they stop bagging on me immediately. We all start sharing stories about all the times that crazy mean dog has charged a vehicle or tried to jump into a unit. I found out that I’m the first to spray that dog. I’m kind of curious what Bones is going to do next time. I tell you what though, I don’t think I have ever been that scared of a dog. I’ve sprayed a few but that one almost met his maker.

Busy Weekend part 2 The Vet

Here is a link to part one of my busy weekend.

Part 2 The Vet:

I was sitting outside the doors of one of the bars in my city and it’s at about 2 am. I look over I see this guy (Guy A) get thrown back and the top his head bounces off of the concrete. I’m telling you guy A’s feet must have been 4 feet in the air when he fell backwards. It was obvious that he just got punched in the face. I rush to the scene and see two other guys fighting (Guy B and C). I grab Guy C and sling him to the ground and start yelling you better not move. He is still wrestling with me and I have him in a hold were he really cannot move but I’m still having a hard time controlling him. I start twisting his arm around and he yells out who in the fuck is on me? I lean down and yell “It’s Officer Marcos mother fucker”. This probably wasn’t the smartest thing I’ve said because there were about 20 people around and I said it pretty loud. After I yell that into his ear he gives up and I handcuff him. While I’m handcuffing I can feel the blood squirting onto my hands. I look down and there is blood everywhere. I wipe the blood on his back and get up. I take a look and guy’s C right hand was busted wide open.

I put on my gloves and check on the Guy A whom on the ground. He is not breathing. I’m trying to get him to wake up and I’m not getting any response. One of the bouncers is a volunteer firefighter so I let him take over. I’m searching Guy A pockets for ID when this he starts breathing. He is not really awake but starts fighting back. It’s not fighting like you would normally think of. It’s the pushing away from anything and everything. This is what people do when they sustains brain injuries.

While working on him someone in the crowd gets my attention and let me know that the Guy B was now leaving. I see him and he takes off running. I call out to the responding units to get this guy instead. One of our detectives is working off duty near by and responds as well. He runs down this hill and stumbles. He rolls down the hill and low and behold Guy B was right there in his face. The detective draws down and guy B gives up. The rookie arrives shortly later and guy B is hooked up and all officers move to my scene.

We sort everything out. What happened was Guy C had gotten into his vehicle and was about to leave. Guy A drives up and parks directly behind Guy C preventing him from leaving. Guy C gets out of his vehicle and politely (doubtful) tells Guy A to move his vehicle so he can leave. Guy A and Guy B get out and try to jump Guy C. Guy A and B start punching Guy C in the face. Guy C with one punch knocks out Guy A and starts fighting with Guy B. This is when I arrived. I find out later that Guy C was 41 year old man who was a disabled vet. The other two guys (A and B) were 27-30 year old punks that thought they could take this older guy.

Guy A is transported to a local hospital with head injuries and guy B was arrested. Guy C is unhandcuffed and released. Guy B who was in the back seat of the rookies patrol unit was never identified. BIG NO NO! I didn’t find this out until after 45 minutes getting statements from the victims and witnesses. I try and talk to Guy B and he isn’t talking to anyone. I’m pissed because I let a bunch of people already leave the scene that could have given us his name. I’m thinking to myself “Hey rookie you’re suppose to be a 10+ year veteran. This is common sense to get and give dispatch the name of who you have in handcuffs in the backseat of your vehicle.” He knows he fucked up and I look over and just tell him not to do that again. I walk away because I didn’t want to hurt that rookies feeling any more. Guy B finally gave up his name about 10 hours later and we found he had warrants. Yippee because I charged him with failure to identify. Now that got changed to failure to identify fugitive from justice which is a higher charge. Got to love dummies.

Sunday, April 27, 2008

Creative probable cause‏





I would love to claim that I wrote the following report but I didn't. I got this in an email and wanted to pass it on. You can skip all the BS and get to the narrivite where the funny parts are.






NDIANAPOLIS METROPOLITAN POLICE DEPARTMENT FOR PUBLIC RELEASE CASE REPORT: 07-0104431 - 0000



INCIDENT: 584 PUBLIC INTOXICATION
INVOLVEMENT: SUBPOENA OFFICER #1
LOCATION: E 62ND ST/N COLLEGE AV
GEO ZONE: 259011 AREA: MND BEAT: ND52
OCCURRED: 07/08/2007 03:26 TO 07/08/2007 04:00
ARRESTS: 1 INJURED: 0 DEAD: 0 VEHICLE TOWED: 0

PERSON: 1
PERSON INVOLVEMENT: ARR ARRESTED
PERSON NAME: MCGRATH,JAMES A
RACE: W WHITE SEX: M MALE
DATE OF BIRTH: 01/22/1982 AGE: 25
ADDRESS: 8318 BENT OAK DR
CITY, STATE, ZIP: INDIANAPOLIS IN 46236
HOME PHONE: (317)826-0710
DATE OF ARREST: 07/08/2007
ARREST LOCATION: E 62ND ST/N COLLEGE AV, INDIANAPOLIS
CHARGE: 07.1-0005-0001-0003 PUBLIC INTOXICATION/MB

NARRATIVE:
ON 07/08/07, AT APPROXIMATELY 0326 HOURS, I WAS TRAVELING
NORTHBOUND IN THE 6100 BLOCK OF N. COLLEGE AVE. IN MY FULLY
MARKED IMPD POLICE VEHICLE AND IN FULL UNIFORM. I HAD MY WINDOWS ROLLED DOWN. I HEARD A MALE VOICE CALLING FOR A PIG, HE WAS SAYING "SUEY, PIGGY, PIGGY". I LOOKED OVER AND OBSERVED THREE WHITE MALES AND A WHITE FEMALE WALKING SOUTHBOUND ON THE EAST SIDE OF N. COLLEGE AVE. ONE OF THE WHITE MALES WEARING BLUE JEANS AND A LIGHT COLORED BUTTONED UP SHIRT LOOKED DIRECTLY AT ME WITH RED GLASSY BLOODSHOT EYES AND SAID, "SUEY PIGGY, PIGGY." I WAS CONCERNED THAT THE MAN HAD LOST HIS PIG AND THAT IT MIGHT HAVE BEEN ROAMING AROUND IN THE BROAD RIPPLE AREA SO I DECIDED TO STOP AND ASSIST HIM, BECAUSE I KNOW HOW DEVASTATING A LOST OF PET CAN BE.

I IDENTIFIED THE WHITE MALE SUBJECT FROM AN INDIANA DRIVER'S LICENSE AS JAMES ADAM MCGRATH, DOB 1/22/82. WHILE I WAS SPEAKING WITH MR. MCGRATH ABOUT HIS POSSIBLE LOST PIG, I SMELLED A STRONG ODOR COMMONLY ASSOCIATED WITH ALCOHOLIC BEVERAGES ON HIS BREATH AND PERSON. HIS SPEECH WAS ALSO SLIGHTLY SLURRED. I PLACED MR. MCGRATH UNDER ARREST FOR PUBLIC INTOXICATION AND HE WAS TRANSPORTED TO THE APC BY A MARION COUNTY JAIL WAGON.

I SEARCHED THE ENTIRE BROAD RIPPLE AREA AND UNFORTUNATELY WAS NOT ABLE TO LOCATE ANY LOST PIGS. I HOPE I FIND IT BEFORE THE GUY AT DICKS BODACIS BARBECUE DOES.ALL OF THE ABOVE OCCURRED IN MARION COUNTY, INDIANAPOLIS, INDIANA.
OFFICER: X0807 SICKELS,CHRISTOPHER L IMPD
OPERATOR: 07/08/2007 06:12 28010 BURNETT,SUELLEN IMPD

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Sandwich yumm!!!

video

Kittens!!!!

Lazy boy's Facts of Life



Interesting

Busy Weekend

This weekend was amazingly busy. Some highlights were that I caught three guys fleeing from officers, witnessed a vet getting jumped by two guys and pretty much stomping some ass, and had a 200 lb rottweiler almost bite the shit out of me.

Three Guys Fleeing:

I’m in my patrol unit writing a report when he hear dispatch give out a call that three males dressed in all black were in the area of a high school near my beat at about 0300 hrs. This high school has been getting hit with burglaries a lot lately. The rookie that has been annoying me took the call along with another officer. I inquired if they needed my assistance and they informed me that they got it so that I could finish up some of my reports. I was down 3 reports this night.

I hear that they see the suspects and are setting up a perimeter so that when the run they will be caught. I just cannot help but listen. I hear another unit jump in to assist. The FTO took over and started setting units up in positions in case they run. I decide join in and pretty much take over the call because that rookie and his FTO was about to jack everything up. I inform all units that the suspects are going to be running northbound toward a certain apartment complex as soon as we got close. I tell the rookie not to drive into the high school until we are set up.

I get close and I get out and start walking along this fence line on the boarder of the high school and the apartment complex. I call out that I’m almost set up and the rookie must have misunderstood me and drove into the parking lot. They all take off running as soon as the rookie drives in. They run into the football practice field heading northbound right for this gap in the fence where I was TRYING to get to. I start running as fast as I could because if they beat me to that gap they would all scatter. If I get to the gap first the only choices would be to give up or turn around where I got 3 officers running them down. I’m running and trying to watch them at the same time. I know they can see me and I can definitely see them. I get to the gap right as the first guy got there. I immediately punch him in the right shoulder turning his whole body away from me. I throw his head straight into the ground. The other two are thinking about fighting but I immediately draw down on them and order them to ground. I’m looking for my back up and nothing. That fat ass rookie was no where to be found along with any of the other officers. The FTO shows up shortly later and we hook everyone up. Everyone shows up except the rookie. I’m like where is this fat ass. We find out later that he had gone back to the car to move it closer. This is not going to work for me. If you’re that lazy now what are you going to be like 5 years down the road. Also the other night we had a drunk run from us on foot around a building and this rookie was calling out directions of a skunk. I’m thinking shoot it or shut it. We need to catch the fleeing felon. Lol.

The guys that “I” caught were all released. That rookie didn’t get close enough to yell stop police and deputy dipshit never put on his overhead lights when they did start running. We couldn’t prove they broke into anything and didn’t have any tools on them.
Oh well it was fun catching them anyway.

Part Two The Vet

Domestic Violence

I know this is really messed up but I just couldn't stop laughing. It's like laughing at a retard, you know it's not right but you just cannot help yourself. No seriously though I see some jack up shit with DV almost daily. It's serious and not funny in real life. Police just have a jacked up sense of humor.

Cowbell


This was off of a skit on SNL. Very funny.

True Happiness


Should 9-11 be reopened?

I'm not too sure I'm sold on this but it's pretty interesting to think about.
video

Friday, April 18, 2008

Thursday, April 17, 2008

Funny Reporters



Love the old man fighting the pit pull. You know he had to have shit his pants at least once.

Demetri Martin Stand up

Baby Care Do's and Dont's



Click on photo for closer view. These are too funny.

Rooking working on my patience

This post is going to be about a recruit that we have had on our shift for 3 weeks now. I always try to stay positive and upbeat but this rookie is really trying my patience. I am not his field training officer (FTO) and this guy solidifies why I’m not interested in being certified as a FTO. This rookie has 10 plus years experience in law enforcement and has tons of instructor certificates. He completed his first phase of field training and was placed with an FTO on our shift in our beat. When I first met him he was coughing up a lung and I was worried from the start. I usually give rookies a fair shake at first but I was worried with this one. He is a little older and a lot fatter than the normal new guys we get. I really don’t want to get into a foot chase and he starts wheezing just getting out of the car.

He has been on our shift for about 3 weeks now and he has just doing stuff that his been really bothering me. These are issues that we don’t normally have with rookie officers with LE experience. The first issue was that I had an agitated drunk that I had arrested. We had 6 officers on scene when he was placed under arrest and in the back of my patrol unit. I transported him to the PD. We unloaded the drunk and walked him into the jail. I had 4 officers, the rookie and his FTO. That’s 7 officers not including jail staff. I am searching the drunk and collecting his property. Of coarse the drunk is running his mouth but he was not being combative. This rookie grabs onto the drunks wrist and performs a wrist lock. Not a problem but WHY? The drunk was being aggressive and running his mouth but we had 7 officers there!!! If the drunk would have flinched he would have been dropped. This sent the drunk into a rage. We finally got the drunk into a holding cell and it took me about 30 minutes to calm the guy down. The rookie didn’t do anything wrong and he was looking out for the safety of officers and the drunk. The problem that I had was that all 7 officers had to do a use of force supplement on why it was preformed. By the way this was not the first instance of the rookie showing force but it was the first time that pissed me off because I hate doing unnecessary reports. His FTO got onto him big time for this one and we really haven’t had an issue since.

The next issue is we had some really bad storms rolling through the area and myself, another officer, the FTO and rookie met up in our normal spot for bad weather. This covered spot is big enough that we can park 6 patrol units and get out and bs. As many times as we have had bad storms over the years I have never got wet at this spot. This night we all were talking and the storm turned for the worst and we get hammered with wind and rain. I was head to toe soaking wet in less than 3 seconds and I had a rain jacket on. It was like someone took a bucket and dumped it on me. I would say the wind was 50-60 mph or more. We decided to try to another spot because of the direction of the wind and rain. We all loaded up and headed out one block over. I’m driving in the front and I cannot see anything. I am literally doing less than 5 mph per hour and cannot see the road. I’m carefully navigating the roads when I look to my left and see the rookie flying past me. We all make it to our spot and I talk with his FTO. He tells me that the rookie had lost control and drove onto the grass. The FTO say he was going ape shit in the car when he passed me. I just shook my head. Luckily the unit was not damaged.

Last night I realized my patience is really growing thin. I get a late arrest and the rookie also got a late arrest about the same time. We get to the PD about the same time. I can run circles around the FTO when it comes to paper work so I talk to him about working together so that we can get off on time. He say not a problem I take ¾’s of the work and let the FTO and his rookie start there part. I get done, fuel up my unit and break down my unit. I finish up with my other duties and about hour later I check in on the rookie. He is no were close to being done. He is just no picking up anything. He is just slow, not grasping what he should and cannot type worth a damn. I’m like get your shit done, quit talking to everyone you see and let’s go. One thing about our shift / beat is that no one goes home until the last person is done with their work. I love this because it really unifies our team.

While waiting on the rookie to complete his duties myself and his FTO go outside the PD and talk. He is feeling the same way and he is really working on him. He is saying he is just not grasping the job. Another issue is that the rookie is not listing to his radio traffic. He never knows where anyone else is at within the city. I and other officers attempted to contact him and he never responds. His FTO says he always has to tell him to check in or respond to the radio. We both talk about how we need to work on being more patient with him. I tell the FTO that I can never be certified because I’ll always have the attitude of suck it up or get out. The FTO then tells me who the rookie is going to next for third phase and this officer has the exact attitude. I hope this rookie makes it but I just feel deep down he is going to be a liability. He’s fat, slow, out of shape, doesn’t know his stuff, cannot drive and just doesn’t mesh well with the night guys. I certainly will be working on being more positive with him and being more patient.

Monday, April 14, 2008

The Line



I'm going to have to use that "Asshole" line. That is truely funny.

Thursday, April 10, 2008

Daniel Chesterfield Magic tricks



I love the bowling pin trick.

Funny bar joke

A man wearing a Democratic pin walks into a bar and sees a picture of President Bush hanging behind the bartender. He calls the bartender over and says, “You should take that picture down. George Bush is a blight upon this nation. He should be impeached.”

The bartender, a life-long Republican, is completely offended. “Why you liberal piece of garbage. How dare you come into my bar and tell me how to run my business!”

“Listen, I’m the customer, so I’m always right.” the man says. “That picture offends me, so I want you to take it down.”

That tears it,” the bartender says, “How would you like it if I came into your bar and told you what to do?”
“Well, you’d be the customer, so you’d be right,” the man says.
“Fine, then let’s switch places,” the bartender says.
So, they do. The man takes the bartender’s place behind the bar, and the bartender walks outside, waits a moment, and then comes back inside. The bartender sits at the bar and says to the bar, “You should take that pin off. The Democrats are destroying our country with their liberal agenda.”
“Sorry,” the man says, “but we don’t serve Republicans here.”

Blasphemy



Y M C A!!!!! LOL

Wednesday, April 9, 2008

Magic Trick

RE: I get the last laugh

Here is a funny up date on “I get the last laugh”. I’m assisting an officer on someone attempting to purchase prescription medication with a fake prescription. I’m thinking could it be my favorite girl. I see the driver and the front passenger from a distance and notice it’s a black female and a black male. It’s not my girl who was a fat white girl. We wait for the prescription to exchange and then we swoop in. We approach and I immediately notice in the back seat was my girl. She immediately starts throwing out excuses. I tell her to shut up and I’m not listing to the lies. She is booked again. This is probably going to be the easiest fake prescription case the DA has ever taken. I’m beating she will plead out for 15 years. Right now she was 3 identical cases against her. That is 20 years each!!!

Major Accident

Last night I get a call of a major accident on one of our highways. I precede code and drive to that location. There are cars all over the highway wrecked out. Because of the number of vehicles involved all traffic was at a stand still. I look up about 500 yards in front of me I see a huge fire with lots of smoke. I had to make a quick assessment of the situation and decide to get out and help at this scene or go up and help with the fire. To me it’s a no brainer. I don’t want anyone to burn alive. I fly up to where the fire was and notice it was some stupid ass rednecks / white trash with at least 5 flares in a single pile. I’m pissed just looking at this pile. I do see a few cars with minor damage. I yell at the rednecks to put them across the road and to move all the cars off onto the shoulder. I hate stupidity.

I drive up to the off ramp where I have to make a U-turn to get back to the (true) major accident. I get to this U-turn were I see another 4 or so cars involved but there are three bodies lying on the ground. I jump out because I thought someone was dead. I’m trying to check on them when someone who was panicking pulling on me pointing saying the driver drove up that way. The driver had apparently driven up the eastbound lanes of traffic traveling westbound. I quickly check on the 3 people and they had no life threatening injuries. I have to get back to the first accident scene. I let them know I got other units in route.

I haul ass back onto the highway. I take an exit that I thought would take me directly to the first accident scene. Well this doesn’t. It takes me to a service road that will put me on the highway just after the accident. I could have took that but decided to drive over the grass median. I slowly jump the curb and Splash!!! I was in what felt like 2 feet of water / mud. I lightly hit the accelerator because I know if I stop I’ll be stuck. I can hear the mud just flying all over my car. I was able to get out of the mud and start toward the scene. I get back the scene and I’m praying that there are no fatalities.

I arrived and it seemed that nobody was injured too badly. About now a bunch of units arrived. I hear one officer huffing and puffing calling out a code meaning he had one in custody. I run to his scene and help him place a subject into hand cuffs. This guy was unbelievable. I don’t think I have every seen someone so drunk. He could not even walk or talk. I had to grab one arm and one leg (as did the other officer) and carry him to the patrol unit. This guy did not have a scratch on him.

After I load him up in the cruiser I look up and notice a lot of patrol units. I would say at least 30 units. This was actually a cool site to see. Half were just standing around so I start putting them to work. Some didn’t like that but tuff it was my scene. I also counted at least 4 LTs and 1 Capt. that had come out. I’m guessing either they paused the movie they were watching or it had just ended. Lol Just kidding.

After I have the highway shut down and traffic diverted I start the accident investigation. The drunk driver’s truck was totaled. He had hit 11 vehicles and sent at least 8 people to the hospital. He was so drunk he had flipped around at that intersection hit a few cars and drove onto the highway the wrong way. He was driving up the wrong way of the highway with no lights on because they got busted out from this first accident. He hit a few more cars drove up a little more before he totaled out at that third accident scene. He was charged with intoxication assault. This was his 2 DWI and I hope that this will be his last. In my opinion, on situations like this punishments should be served immediately at the scene.

Friday, April 4, 2008

Cat Found

Yeah I don't think this is a Cat!!!

Past couple of weeks

I've been very busy the past couple of weeks and haven't been on. So I'll put in some stuff I think some people would enjoy to hear about.

About 2 weeks ago I got to assist on a forced entry narcotics search warrant. The biggest meanest dude had the entry ram. He bangs the door and everyone starts yelling “POLICE DEPARTMENT!!! SEARCH WARRANT, SEARCH WARRANT”. The door doesn’t move. On about the 7th hit on the door a female grabs a big pot that was on the porch and throws it through the window. She starts to make entry through the window. The dude with ram hits the door 3 more times and the home owner “answers” the door. The home owner just unlocks the deadbolt. A couple other patrol officers and I are laughing at this. He hit the door at least 10 times didn’t get in. The chick busts the window the funnest way possible and the guy just comes to the door like nothing is wrong. We get about half a pound of meth and $43,000 dollars.

One of our main city officials contacts the PD about his daughter that was having sex with an 18 year old kid. He starts demanding that the Sgt comes to his home and investigate the issue. My Sgt calls me and explains what is going on. I know my Sgt called me because I don’t get intimidated easily. I get to the scene and talk to the dad, mom and then the girl. I find out that the girl is 15 and the guy is 18 and all sex was consensual. I let the dad know that I need to get some statements from him and his daughter. Dad starts to throw is weight around for the first time. He starts throwing out names. Should I call so and so or so and so. I snap back and say you’re talking to me and if I decide to contact anyone else I will let you know. Dad starts to apologize. I stop him and tell him that I don’t care who he is and that he is not going to get any special favors. I treat everyone the same and push all cases to the fullest to the law. After about an hour of investigation, dad thanks me and advises the he had contacted the chief, city manager and the mayor by email and explained what a great professional officer I was. That made me feel really good. The bad part was the guy kept on making death threats toward this kid that I could not ignore. I kept on stopping him and saying “I wouldn’t say that around the police if I was you.” Everything was included in my report including the treats. This guy is going to flip out when he reads my report. Also nothing is going to happen with the kid because they are within three years and the DA will most likely not take the case.

The other night I get a fight call and I’m first on scene. I notice this guy pushing bouncers trying to get back into the bar. I run over identify myself and tell him to stop. He doesn’t listen and gets slammed. I’m fighting with him and finally get the cuffs on. Another officer runs over and stops about 5 feet from me and starts putting on his gloves. I look down and the guy is covered in blood. It was dark and I never noticed the blood until it was all over my hands, arms and uniform. Luckily it appears that all of his injuries were prior to me arriving or I might have had an IA complaint. The guy fights us all the way until EMS arrives and they put what I can describe as a cargo net around the guy. His arms are strapped down and they slip a net underneath him and about 20 seat belts are fastened from his neck to his toes. This guy was not going anywhere. The guy had some pretty bad lacerations on his face and head. This guy was really drunk so I wonder if he will even remember anything in the morning. We never found the other guy to the fight.

We hired a fat older dude and he is in FTO training (2nd phase) on our shift. We had another shit head tweaking (meth) on us and the fat older dude is just giving a cold stare at this tweaker. I’m thinking are you going to do anything or are you trying to use your special X-men powers to get control of the situation. His FTO stepped in and took control. I was disappointed because this guy has about 15 years of law enforcement experience and I would have expected more out of him. I’m sure that he is still kind of new and is getting a feel on what he can and cannot do with our department. My biggest issue is that I don’t like out of shape cops. If I hop a fence and get into a fight are you going to have my back? Probably not. Also I always hear fat guys say no body is going to fight me because they will not be able to handle me. Screw that!!! After about 45 seconds your wheezing fat boy and then you’re dead. If size doesn’t scare me imagine what someone drunk or on dope thinks.

Last night I was sitting watching this off ramp from the highway. I look up and notice two cars blow through the stop sign without slowing down. I stop the back one and the guy is a real shit head. I’m watching the other car and it drives up about a 100 yards turns around to face us and turns off their head lights. I call another unit to the scene and pull this driver out. I let the other officer know that I’m going after the other driver. I get in my car and fly over to this other vehicle. This car tries to turn around and get away from me. I slide around this turn and flip on the overheads. The car finally pulls over. I walk over to the driver and laugh “did you think you were going to get away from me.” It’s always fun to give two tickets to two different drivers on one stop. The other officer on scene jokes with me that he wonders if I had any tread on my tires.

I stopped a car and walk up on the passenger side of the vehicle. I could smell the weed coming from the car almost as soon as I step out of my unit. The driver and passenger do not notice me and I just sit and stare into the vehicle. After about 2 minutes (literally) the passenger notices me. I asked them if they had been smoking any weed in the vehicle? Both say no. I say ok, is there any weed in the vehicle? Both say no. I ask so there has not been any weed is this vehicle at all today? Both say no of coarse. I look at the passenger and ask him. How do you get into the vehicle, buckle up and weed just fall all over your lap without you noticing it. The both look down and pretty much give up. He tells me they rolled some joints and had been smoking out of pipes today. I pull both out and search everything. All I find is two pipes. One of the pipes was a hand carved wooden “hide”. I ask the driver what I should do. He says I don’t know. I tell him to be creative because you never know I might allow it. He tells me to let them have the pipes and let him drive home. I tell him that is a little too creative. I “suggest” that he take the pipes and throw them as far into the woods as he could. The driver kind of freaks out. He looks over to the passenger and says “let’s just go to jail because I cannot lose this “hide” because my grandfather gave it to me.” The passenger smartly tells him that he is not going to get it back. The driver decides to throw the pipes. He takes the metal one and throws it as hard as he can. I’m talking to the passenger when he throws the wooden one. It appears that he throws it just as hard as the metal one. The other officer on scene notices that he throws hard with his right hand but tosses the pipe with his left hand into some grass nearby. This was kind of like the statue of liberty play Boise State pulled on the Sooners a year ago. The other officer grabs the pipe without either person seeing. We both clear the scene and blade up. We look over and these two guys are looking everywhere for this hide. The other officer tells me about what happened and I look at the dash cam. I’m laughing so hard because he pulled it off to perfection.